I've been silent a long time, yet I haven’t moved away or gone anywhere. Nothing major has happened. I have stayed in the same place, letting the world and its petty obligations rush by me or swirl around me. This blog and the treasures it held by reaching others was sitting quietly, patiently while I tried to catch the spirit, the whirlwind of seasonal stuff.
One new “thing” I have in my routine is a “smartphone” of which I still have many doubts about its worth. One big surprise was that because it is Google enabled, when I downloaded the book app a long lost book I purchased over a year ago was waiting for me. It was The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo. I had given this wondrous book as a gift to many friends, but didn’t get one for myself. Google had just started its ebook business and I wanted to try it out. Easy to buy but didn’t perform well on my ancient ereader. Long forgotten, until now. It now greets me every day, and I can read a few words of inspiration once again.
He had months ago talked of silence between friends, and that it may reach a point of feeling as punishment or rejection. Well, that hit a guilt nerve. How do I get back to friends when I have been gone for an uncomfortably long time? Then I opened the passage for today, December 30th, “We Are the Earth” He spoke of the intangibles as the deepest things: doubt, faith, confusion, wisdom, etc. Not anything to be held, yet they are the very things that shape our lives. We may spend years trying to gain wisdom yet the paradox is that after all that time we seem to have less to say. Nepo made a great analogy about that: “Silence doesn’t diminish what we have to say. Just because sound always ends in silence doesn’t make the music any less precious.” You know that feeling after the symphony ends, what joy spreads through your soul!
He goes on to make other points about how we become what we seek, yet this one comparison hit home. It made me not only realize that the silence between friends in a blogosphere, or a sister friend miles away, or even that lump snoring on the couch can still possess precious value, but also that their silence gives us a chance to let their previous sounds become part of us. We then find that we do become what we seek. And our lives are once again shaped by those intangibles of acceptance, love, comfort, peace, passion.