I've been silent a long time, yet I haven’t moved away or
gone anywhere. Nothing major has
happened. I have stayed in the same
place, letting the world and its petty obligations rush by me or swirl around
me. This blog and the treasures it held
by reaching others was sitting quietly, patiently while I tried to catch the
spirit, the whirlwind of seasonal stuff.
One new “thing” I have in my routine is a “smartphone” of
which I still have many doubts about its worth. One big surprise was that because it is Google
enabled, when I downloaded the book app a long lost book I purchased over a
year ago was waiting for me. It was The
Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo. I had given this wondrous book as a gift to
many friends, but didn’t get one for myself. Google had just started its ebook business and
I wanted to try it out. Easy to buy but didn’t perform well on my ancient
ereader. Long forgotten, until now. It
now greets me every day, and I can read a few words of inspiration once again.
He had months ago talked
of silence between friends, and that it may reach a point of feeling as
punishment or rejection. Well, that hit a guilt nerve. How do I get back to
friends when I have been gone for an uncomfortably long time? Then I opened the passage for today, December
30th, “We Are the Earth” He spoke of the intangibles as the deepest
things: doubt, faith, confusion, wisdom, etc. Not anything to be held, yet they are the very
things that shape our lives. We may
spend years trying to gain wisdom yet the paradox is that after all that time
we seem to have less to say. Nepo made a great analogy about that: “Silence doesn’t diminish what we have to say.
Just because sound always ends in silence doesn’t make the music any less
precious.” You know that feeling after
the symphony ends, what joy spreads through your soul!
He goes on to make other points about how we become what we
seek, yet this one comparison hit home.
It made me not only realize that the silence between friends in a
blogosphere, or a sister friend miles away, or even that lump snoring on the
couch can still possess precious value, but also that their silence gives us a
chance to let their previous sounds become part of us. We then find that we do become
what we seek. And our lives are once
again shaped by those intangibles of acceptance, love, comfort, peace, passion.
Would have written sooner but was reading everything by Mark Nepo I could get my hands on! I think of all the books by Melody Beattie I've given to people and how they've thrown them back at me. Thank Goodness, you are at a higher level of sharing rather than preaching! So wonderful to be reading your blog for the new year and getting inspired to look within and not at others. Thank you. I learn so much and am reminded that there are different friends to make rather the ones I seem to collect. I am reminded by Mark Nepo to be the type of person I want to attract into my life. Welcome back.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Gabby. I'm having a slow start this year and struggling to get back into the swing. Your comment helps me know that I do need to keep this up. See you very soon!
ReplyDeleteBlessing to you,
~Suzanne
Catching up on everything, I am finally reading your wonderful entries. I wish I had read this one before Christmas. My own family is fractured and estranged. In my usual, heartfelt but bumbling manner, I reached out and the silence remains. I'm expressive. They're not. I might be adopted. This year I decided not to take it personally and like above, be the person I want others to be. As for family, no one can take away my love and memories of them, so far away - at least for now. Elise
ReplyDeleteElise,
ReplyDeleteBeing on the same path with others doesn't necessarily mean we are using the same mode of transportation. It can be lonely, but you are right in that you have your memories and love to keep you going. Hang in there, dear.
~Suzanne
You are a sweet girl. What I didn't say is that my developmentally disabled son - with an inoperable brain tumor - is again ill, yet, he shows us all how to live. I have my purpose right in front of me. Today we shopped at Whole Foods where the people are easy going and know his story. What a joy are other people who have their issues and still reach out to others. I once asked my son, "What is it you like about that store?" He said, "The atmosphere." So much for the assessment that he has an IQ of 40! Enjoy your day. Elise
ReplyDeleteI opened up Mark Nepo's Book of Awakening for today and immediately thought of you, Elise. A quote by Kikakou, "A blind child guided by his mother, admires the cherry Blossoms..." What joy of the world you are giving your son, or he would not have the chance to be so beautifully expressive. And so well it goes that sometimes you are the blind child (as we all are) and the child leads us. You are in my thoughts today. I hope you both find more delightful moments. Blessing to you for sharing.
ReplyDelete~Suzanne.