Saturday, February 9, 2013

How Do You Deal with Disappointment?

     I wonder how you have reacted to a situation when you struggled though a life-changing decision, and the moment you finally choose the path you will take, something or someone else decides for you that you can't.  It's that "control" thing. The only conflicts we really have in life happen when we don't know what we control. There are so many life-changing decisions where you are your own worst enemy, and you keep yourself from making the choice, but I am talking about those times when it's something else that makes the final say.
     Let's brainstorm some of these -
  • Choosing a life partner and suddenly he breaks it off.
  • Deciding to take that career risk and move to a new place only to find out your company is planning on downsizing within the year, and you're on the list.
  • Deciding to move nearer to your married children and families and then your son is transferred across the country.
  • Deciding to have a life-changing surgery for which you well qualify, but your insurance company refuses to pay.
     Ah, That's the one!!  You have seen my "waffle-itis" in the past posts in making the decision to have the surgery for cochlear implants.  I made the decision, pushed aside my fears, and waited for the approval.  Hearing from so many others that in this day and age, I believed that insurance companies are much more accepting to the surgical implant due to their high success rate, and that it is as much a prosthesis as an arm, a leg or an eye. The news yesterday was so disappointing. Mainly because I was trying to be so optimistic about the process. Another sucker punch that I so dread.

     There will always be missed opportunities, time and money not wisely spent, and other things that we regret. It's just part of life, and I find it pretty easy to accept responsibility for my poor decisions. But I crash when it's not my choice.
    Well, crash for a little while at least. Obstacles are always on our road of life. We still have a choice when an obstacle is lying in front of us.  We can choose to fall into a pity puddle, turn back, go over, around or through it.  Oh, the beautiful image of blasting or choking that stupid insurance reviewer... No, in all reality, I do know I have choices in my perspective and actions that can result in continuing my journey.  I will be fighting this and work toward a better quality of life for me. There's no time for self pity or wallowing in disappointment.
     I know I have a support of so many special people including a daughter bringing me a cheer-up bouquet,  a son who wants to see about getting a loan for me, a BIL with  a calm voice of reason to help me ask the right questions and pursue a course of action, special friends and family through emails and texts to state their support and ideas, and even  a great  joke that made me laugh out loud. God, I love them all!!
    I have also looked for wise words from others that help me move forward. I added a  couple of those quotes below that were especially helpful.

"Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment helps us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments - but all of this is transitory it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back in pride and faith at the journey we have taken."
                                                              Paulo Coelho     By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept.

" It was one of those times you feel a sense of loss, even though you didn't have something in the first place. I guess that is what disappointment is - a sense of loss for something you never had."
                                                                Deb Caletti    The Nature of Jade

Perspective is so helpful.  When I put this stone of disappointment next to so many other obstacles that have been in my way, it seems to shrink, and I will easily be able to kick it aside.  I wish you the best in shrinking your own obstacles.
Blessings to you all,

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