A long ago forgotten memory. I was probably around 8 or 9 because I would have been able to walk home alone (in those days) without big brother who was already in junior high or tag-a-long little sister, not yet in school .
A beautiful spring afternoon to walk the 10-12 blocks to our house from the elementary school. Never a creature of habit even as a child, I would shuffle from sidewalk to street gutter to add variety to my steps. I let my eyes scan the ground for various treasures abandoned for whatever reason. Unusual bits of broken glass, abandoned balls, pencils, or tattered school papers adorned the little swept street. My favorite sighting would be rocks of various sizes and shapes. Once I had found a strange red sandstone-like rock that looked like a rose..
So, this particular day I knew I could take my time to search for new objects and knew I might have some luck. Just a block or two from home, I found IT. But what a strange smooth tiny rock it was! I picked it up and marveled at its beautiful blue speckled color. It seemed unusually hard and heavy. What possessed me to do what came next, I still do not know. I tossed it up in the air. Caught it. Then squatting close to the ground, I smashed it into the gutter. Did I really believe it was a rock? Why couldn't I recognize or admit that it was a robin egg? What ever evil thought I had, I really do not remember, but I do recall with vivid acuity, the horror. Even though the yellow yolk and glistening white spilled from the shattered remains, and my adult mind now knows that this abandoned egg was probably never fertilized, my child mind sized me up as an evil killer of a baby bird.
First thought of death...
First thought of my power to end life...
First thought of my internal wickedness.
Eggs are the symbolic essence of the beginning of life, of purity, birth, renewal, of nature's miracles. Ironically my first thought or memory of the word "egg" created just the opposite. But, could it be that nature is powerful enough to hold lessons from both poles of good and evil within ourselves, and we can be grateful for that power to teach us.
We can so quickly point out the evils in others or in the world, but until we can recognize those seeds of evil within ourselves, we cannot heal the world around us.